MERCH

From the fiery forges of eternal badassery comes merch forged in thunder and stitched with riffs so brutal they melt the faces of false kings: the one true MZZTR MERCH.

Thou shalt stride like a hell born paladin through the pit of mundanity, armored in comfort and anointed in brutality. The sigil emblazoned upon its chest screams louder than a goblin in heat and strikes harder than Thor’s own dick.

Whether thou ridest into battle atop a flaming steed or simply slam ale in the bar of thine choosing, this shirt declareth:
“My soul is distortion. My blood is blast beats.”

So gird thy seething loins, thou heavy heretic. Claim thy merch, or be cast into the mosh pit of obscurity.

Latex MZZTR holds their debut EP Prnounced: MIS-TER Pre Order Now!

LIMITED EDITION CASSETTE PRE-ORDER

A red cassette tape labeled 'MZZTR' with song titles and track information, held in a gloved hand over a curved white surface. Latex MZZTR holds their debut EP Prnounced: MIS-TER Pre Order Now!

HEAR YE MZZTR HAS ARRIVED!!

Pronounced MIS TER, this five track debut EP captures the slow burn apocalypse in full: dripping with blood, spit, and something far less respectable. From the figurative and literal HOLES, to the influencer feminist prog inspired banger KIMBERLY, to a deeply unhinged and slightly humorous take on “I Cum Blood,” to the nu metal anthem SILENCE WON’T PROTECT YOU, and the thrash descent into madness OLIVEGARCHY FEVERDREAM: FREE BREADSTICKS 4LIFE!

This EP will leave thee united, angsty, and perhaps a little feral horny, riddled with transgressive ideas and zero remorse.

Snag a physical, nostalgic form of media before it vanishes into the ether. Colors are saturated like a mushroom trip gone right.

Your offering shall also include:
• A free digital download of the EP
• A special MZZTR sticker
• And something strange as a token of our gratitude…

ALL HAIL MZZTR!

SHIPPING BEGINS IN MAY BEFORE THE EP DESCENDS UPON THE WORLD. SECURE THY ARTIFACT BEFORE THE MASSES AWAKEN MORTAL!!

Pre Order our new MZZTR shirt, depicting a screaming face of a woman with pink flames coming from her eyes, surrounded by an ornate border, all in black and pink colors.
Four pink silhouettes of human ears with irregular patterns on a black background, with the text 'SILENCE WON'T PROTECT YOU' beneath them.

FRONT

BACK

You ever wanted to gouge your eyes out and give up? Then this is the shirt for you! Screw those Olivegarchs, let everything BURN. PRE-ORDER Silence Won't Protect You Shirts and protest till dost thou cry “Not Fine, Silent Inside, Step to the LIGHT!” The Pink print will be HOT PINK on top of a black t-shirt…

Includes unlimited streaming of I Cüm Blürd via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

Skeletons having sex wit each other. The skeletons are holding a sign with the stylized text 'MZZTR' in the foreground.

MZZTR "BONING”tm Shirt $25… WHO’S DOING THE NASTY? YOU ARE! ONLY FEW REMAIN in the pink variation…

Daddy Adam in his pink mask with black details and a pink T-shirt with a skeleton graphic. The person is standing indoors against a gray wall.
And boy does Daddy Adam look FINE in this. Made for any gender, species, and size.

OG MZZTR BLACK front/back print T-shirt $20 ONLY THREE REMAIN…Get it while she's HOT. Once she's gone, she's gone for good. Future you to your grandkids: “In the annals of your lineage, let it be recorded that this artifact is of MZZTR origin.”


Boner: the shirt has a design on the back.

MZZTR PAYPAL…Just a tip (no one will know)

It's just a tip.